is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
