am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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