lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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