VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
