She is in my trunk
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
