Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
