Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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