Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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