but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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