She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
