kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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