every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Blood and glitter go together right?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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