I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
