that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
