Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
