and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
