There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
