I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
