just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
