dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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