he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
