Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
