Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
