This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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