I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
