And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize