So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
