Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
