i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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