Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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