PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
