I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize