now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Holy shit dude........stairs
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
