oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
