I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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