Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
