Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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