the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
