check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
