Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
