She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
