Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
