Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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