John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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