Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
