I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
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I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
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I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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