what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
