I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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