You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize