According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize