who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
