Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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