So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
