You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
where am i from again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
