Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We're too hungover to prance.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize