I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize