WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
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My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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