I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
