I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize