This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
