Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
