it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
