Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
