My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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