the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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