If that was your dad, he is hot
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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