Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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